The death of someone you love is the beginning of one of the most painful times of your life. You feel like you have lost your anchor, you have lost direction, and nobody cares.
Grief is a natural response to the loss of someone or something of value.
We grieve the loss of relatives and friends, pets, our homes, jobs, financial security. We also grieve the loss of youth!
Why is Grieving so Difficult?
- The extent of the loss: When one you love dies, you lose your dreams and hopes for the future, a friend, someone who understands you and someone who shares your past. It may take you months to understand the extent of the loss.
- The wide range of emotions: You may experience emotions you have never known before.
- The intensity of the emotions: Not only do you experience new emotions, you feel them with an intensity that makes coping more difficult. These emotions can erupt like a tornado inside us.
- Each death is unique: No matter how many deaths you may have experienced in your life, this loss will be unique.
- Lack of understanding: A grieving person will often ask, “Why do I feel the way I do?” Quite simply, most of us don’t understand grief or its effect on our lives.
by John Kennedy Saynor
©GENESIS Bereavement Resources
I believe grief is a process that involves a lot of time, energy and determination. I won’t “get over it” in a hurry, so don’t rush me!
I believe grief is intensely personal. This is my grief. Don’t tell me how I should be doing it. Don’t tell me what’s right or what’s wrong. I’m doing it my way, in my time.
I believe grief is affecting me in many ways. I am being affected spiritually, physically, emotionally, socially and mentally. If I’m not acting like my old self, it’s because I’m not my old self and some days even I don’t understand myself.
I believe I will be affected in some way by this loss for the rest of my life. As I get older, I will have new insights into what this death means to me. My loved one will continue to be part of my life and influence me until the day I die.
I believe I am being changed by this process. I see life differently. Some things that were once important to me aren’t any more. Some things I used to pay little or no attention to are now important. I think a new me is emerging, so don’t be surprised – and don’t stand in the way.
Living with Grief
So the grieving process is a life long process of change. If you can say “yes” to that concept, then life will be renewed. You will live and love again. The memory and the love of your loved one will continue to move you and inspire you for the rest of your life.
One of the objectives of GENESIS Bereavement Resources is to offer support and encouragement to bereaved people. Our carefully written books and brochures are designed to address some of the issues around grief and bereavement as well as encouraging bereaved people in creating a new life. You may want to check out the following which will be of particular interest to those who are bereaved.
Genesis: A Personal Guide Through Grief – was written especially for bereaved people. It is written in simple, straightforward language without a lot of psychological jargon that may confuse you. It is a workbook that is designed to give you the opportunity to interact with the book. If you would like to see a sample of what the book is like, click on the title and you will see. The book will help you when you are alone and have nobody to talk to. It will also give you a basic understanding of what grief is like and why you are reacting the way you are.
The Psalms: Companions Through Grief – The Psalms have been a source of inspiration and encouragement to millions over the centuries. In this book the reader is taken on a spiritual journey through grief with the Psalms as a guide. The Psalms, especially the Psalms of Lament, reflect the human experience of loss and grief in the context of questioning and challenging God. The reader is taken gently through the phases of grief in an honest yet hopeful way that leads one to consider grief as potentially transformative. It is a workbook that blends the psychology of grief with spirituality.
Growing Through Grief – This series of brochures was written to address several specific areas of grief. “When Your Parent Dies“, “When Your Spouse Dies“, and “My Child Has Died” are just some of the titles you will find. Perhaps combining three of them will give you the basics of what you need.